I remeber when I was a teen that while spending time
with my friends someone would always ask a question that stumped the rest of us.
Usually the question came from a conversation we had at school or one we overheard. No matter how the
question came, mom was the one with the answer.
As I got
older, I noticed that my friends started asking mom questions and calling her mom as well. Many of them still do.
I’m lucky that I could always go to mom with anything and
everything. Everyone should have that.
So Gay Tucson Youth found a mom to answer
your questions for you!
Ask her anything and she’ll give
you her best answer. We’ll post your questions and her answers, here, at Ask Mom.
Have fun and be nice to
mom. Your information will remain anonymous of course.
Have fun! - Tony
Ray
Q. Hi Mom,
I'm a Transgender Woman. I was born male,but felt
female all my life. I'll be transitioning full time soon. I'm an adult,and over the years I haven't told my parents
about my secret. I'm really nervous and scared of telling my parents. Can you please give me any advice or tips
on telling my parents that I'm a female not a male. The last few days I been really emotional about this. Sometimes
I cry at night when I go to bed. Any help is deeply appreciated.
Thank You, Lisa A. Dear
Lisa,
I can't imagine how hard it would be to keep your secret all these years. But, I'll bet your
mother has some idea. Mothers usually do. They either ignore it, so they don't have to deal with it, or deny
it, thinking, nah, it's not possible. Just my imagination.
If you read the letters, I have answered,
on this site, that refer to telling parents, you will see that it always the same. Be open and honest. If you feel it
easier to talk to your Mother then approach her first. You can always find a way to lead into it. Then, together or
alone, however you feel comfortable, tell your dad. But, you must tell them. Don't let them find out from someone
else, and they will. And it will hurt them worse. Cause it will hurt them.
Most parents feel guilty
- that it is there fault. What will people think, etc. It won't be easy and since you have been worrying about this
for a long time it will probably be worse for you, than them. My friend has a son, who was born female, and I watched
her grow into an adult, go to her Prom in a beautiful gown. I still have the picture.
But, she hated
dresses and was always in jeans, etc. We started getting an inkling, then, so when she finally told her Mom, it was
not as bad as she had feared. She lives her life as a male. He lives as a male and looks and talks like
a male, etc. but cannot afford the operations he needs, yet, and he is accepted by all who know. He is happy. You should
be happy.
Good luck, Lisa. If you want to write back, please do so. Chin up and a very,
Happy , New Year
Hugs,
Mom
Q. Hey,
I am a 20 year old transferring to the U of A and I am curious
about the Gay scene for people my age. Do you know if there is a good scene at the U of A? And what about at bars and clubs?
is it just a bunch of older guys? Is there anywhere I can dance and hang out until I turn 21?
Thanks For
letting me know! Garrett
A. Dear Garrett,
We have not found anything at the
U of A. However, I know SAAF and Wingspan have programs and socials for people in your age group. If you go to
the links page on the Gay Tucson site and check you will find the web sites for those two groups and then contact them and
they can give you all that information. You may also want to check the groups page and the calendar. I'm sure
they will be able to get what you need from them..
Good luck and happy turkey day.
Hugs,
Mom
Q. dear mom,
what's the best way to come out to well you!?
A. Dear Rafael
I'm assuming from your question that you want to tell your mother you are gay.
Just sit down with her and tell her openly and honestly. Do it at home when no one else is around. I know it will be
hard and you are worried about being rejected but chances are your mother knows already and is just waiting for you to tell
her. You will feel much better when you do. I knew my son was gay before we ever discussed it and when we
did, and it was in the open, it was so much better. We have a wonderful, open , relationship and it is that way with
our entire family. We welcome his friends as part of the family. Good luck and let me know how it goes. If I took
your question wrong, sorry. Just submit it again.
Hugs.
Mom
